Look me in the eye

Last night I went to an event at a friend’s home where I didn’t know many people, even though it was a small event among people from the neighborhood with similar cultural background. The fact is that while “working the room” I was introduced to this gentleman who owns a small coffee shop where I go occasionally for coffee and some special pastries.

He recognized me as the occasional client I am and we got into an animated conversation about themes of relevance for our community.

We were seating side by side on a sofa but somewhat sort of half facing each other. I had my back to the entry door. I noticed that every time someone new entered the room and I was talking to him, he would move his focus of attention from the conversation to the new arrivals, to the point that he would totally disconnect from what I was saying and wander into his own thoughts and the drink he had in his hand.

I was pretty annoyed with his behavior and started thinking that maybe my conversation didn’t interest him, but every time I started to get up and go somewhere he would come back from his haze and restart the conversation.

I realized that there are people that have a “tangential” way of establishing a rapport with their interlocutor, just like a lady I know that while talking to you is always looking at her own reflection in a mirror, a glass door or the glass of a picture on the wall across from her.

Hey! Look me in the eye…please!