Say what?

Getting exposed to other cultures is an exciting experience: new ways of thinking, different foods and foreign languages.

Nothing better than learning to speak a foreign language because doing so we learn to understand that there are different (not necessarily better or worst) ways of doing things.

But learning a language doesn't come without its doses of annoyances.

I had been living in the States for a relatively short time when I realized the importance of some phonetic nuances that a foreigner's ear doesn't distinguish easily.

I was starting in a new job when I was assigned to inspect the work in some new homes being built. I was presenting my oral report during a morning meeting with the entire office when I was asked the status of the construction. I told the group that they were installing the sh*t rock (I meant sheet rock) and to my surprise everybody burst out laughing. I felt totally embarrassed and not because of what I had said, but because I didn't know why they were laughing. I couldn't hear the difference between "shee" ans "shi". Actually I didn't even realized there were two different sounds.

The same thing applies to beach and b*tch, and some other difficult sounds

What a pain. It can be very embarrassing!

Handshake

A handshake is a ritual way to greet people. Said to be in use by the Greeks in the 5th Century BC it is no wonder that for as long as I can remember a handshake is ....well...a handshake. It seems to have originated as a gesture of peace, showing the other person your unarmed hands.

Now the handshake has evolved, like almost everything else. There are cultural and generational variations that add interest and make hand shakes somewhat challenging.

When I came to live in the United States I didn't know, for example, what a Hi Five was. Someone I knew used to greet me like that and I didn't know what to do with it or how to respond to it until someone pointed it out and explained it to me. Awkward!

These days people touch fists in different ways and have developed all kinds of handshake-like greetings.

The one that annoys me is the Thumb-wrap. A new friend of mine uses the thumb-wrap. I haven't been able to manage it quite yet. The idea is (I think) to end up with your hand wrapped around your counterpart's thumb (see illustration).

When I greet him with a regular hand shake he manages to move his hand up around my thumb and move it all up to chest hight (!). I have tried to go straight to the chest-height-thumb-wrap but it doesn't work. I think that part of the pleasure is to create in the other person a sense inadequacy . The greeting starts with the hand at waist height and a forward movement like a hand shake but then, surprisingly, the hand slides up your palm and grabs the thumb.

Hmmmmm. I miss a regular, standard, safe and predictable hand shake

Belts

Getting dressed in the morning is easy. My size 32 pants fit me perfectly well. I feel full of energy, ready to conquer the world...I'm a morning person, what can I do.

As the day goes by, especially after lunch (no matter how light lunch is) my waist seems to grow a couple of inches. Size34 pants would be great now, but I'm still wearing my size 32ones. The belt constrains me, especially when I seat; but letting it go a notch or two doesn't help unless I unbutton my pants. Not a pretty picture to see a man with unbuttoned pants!

By Happy Hour time I'm starving, needing size 40 pants and a stretching belt. I'm fearing dinner by now, especially if I'm in the company of strangers.

After dinner my name changes to balloon man. Not because I sell balloons at night, but because I feel like I swallowed all the balloons I could be selling.

So I rush home, change to loose fitting, soft cloth old rags, sigh and start the decompression period.

Wouldn't it be nice if fashion designers would take the daily waist metamorphosis into consideration?.

What ever happened with elastic waist pants?

Boinnngggggh!

Food

Food can be a great source of pleasure and joy. When I think of it an image comes to mind that connects with my taste buds and the aroma of that meal...

Driving along the coast road on a chilly and breeze Mid-october afternoon in Bretagne, France, we stopped along the road in one of the simple restaurants in front of the ocean.

Simple indeed in its architecture the restaurant is where fishermen bring their seafood catch every morning. The infinite assortment of oysters, mussels, shrimps, lobster....you name it, was impressive. This bounty was displayed in big, thick baskets and garnished with the gifts of the ocean. The smell or the sea and seaweed made the seafood look even more apetizing. Our selection was placed in a large tray on crushed ice with slices of lemmon. A chilled bottle of crisp white wine complemented the feast. Even today I can recreate in my mind all the wonderful sensations I experienced.

Today I'm at a client's house in Miami waiting for some deliveries. It was lunch time and I went to one of the chain restaurants that sell sandwiches, etc. nearby. I ordered (and eat, which is even worst) one of the worst-tasting and looking panini in my life. Described as a grilled chicken Tuscan panini (it should actually be panino in correct Italian, no panini: one panino, two panini) it was a microwaved piece of plastic chicken, a slice of melted Kraft "cheese", two slices of rubberized bacon and a cup of BBQ sauce, pressed between two pieces of pale and depressing imitation ciabatta bread. I guess it was, in its own way also a memorable meal.

So much so that I'm writing about it

Ughhhhhhh! Annnnnoying!

The dream machine

The dream machine

We all dream. Not all of us remember what we dream but we do dream.
I dream in technicolor and high definition! How about you?

The issue is what comes next. Let's say I'm having a great dream ...I'm on an island, at the beach, with turquoise warm waters......you get the picture, right? I wake up with a beatific smile on my face and a sense of peace and happiness and I want to stretch those images for a while. What annoys me is that the fabric of my dream starts unraveling in my mind as I regain consciousness and after a few seconds I can't remember what I was dreaming.

It gets even worst when I have a "serious" dream. The type of dream that I know has a meaning, that moves me, that has a connection with something deep inside me. I want to remember it. I want to come back to it and analyze it, find the meaning.

Sometimes I remember it when I wake up but the images are so fragile that fall like sand between my fingers.

why, oh why...

I have made a point to have a note pad next to my bed to write my dreams, but ever since the dreams elude me. I'm starting to reprogram my mind so that I remember. In the meantime dreaming has become... another little annoyance

Password?

How many times a day do you need to enter your user name and password to log in a site?

And in how many new sites do you have to register per week?

In my case I've counted 55 different websites I' m registered with. That means that I have many, and I mean many passwords or combination of elements to make them different enough.

Some sites require numbers, capital letters, eight characters, etc.

A friend of mine said to me that he has only one!!! That's easier, but what about hacking? I don't know why anyone would like to hack my accounts, but it has already happened to me, so I have a lot of combinations of elements to make my passwords.

I decided to write them all down. Most of the times I have to look them up. But at times I'm hyper-confident and trust my memory. If I'm lucky, it works right away. When not, I get really frustrated: I forgot the capital letter, it was the wrong combination of user name and password, or I forget that they required that I change the password 13 days ago.

Weren't computers supposed to make life easier???

I know, I' dating myself. I'm a pre-computer dinosaur

Love peanuts?

I don't like peanuts and I tell you why. Listen to what happened to me recently. I had ordered some stuff on line. I was awaiting the shipment since it was for one of my projects. Finally UPS comes with a fairly large box. I was surprised because I had ordered several small items. I concluded that everything should had been consolidated in one shipment.

I open the box and it's filled with green peanuts!

I'm not talking edible peanut here, I'm talking packing peanuts: that annoying peanut shaped foam stuff that clings to everything! So I had to "dive" into that tub of peanuts like a kid in one of those pools filled with multicolor balls but without the fun.

Let's think logically, I said to myself. I don't want that stuff all over my office floor but I have to make sure that I find all the small pieces I ordered. So I picked a plastic trash bag to start scooping the peanuts into the bag, right? Wrong. The plastic bag and the peanuts suffer of "too much attraction". They are statically charged and start attaching to the inside and the outside the plastic bag.

I decided to move the operation outside the office, next to the trash can, thinking that it would be easier to dispose of them. My guilt was killing me with the recycling and all that stuff but, I just don't like those peanuts.

The next attempt to scoop them out was worst than the first. IT WAS WINDYYYYY!

I had to run around like a maniac behind every peanut that floated happily away from me. After scooping them all out I was still missing one part. I had to do it twice until I had all my pieces.

No more peanuts, please