On a plane 1

A friend volunteered this one during dinner last night. He was one of the first passengers to go on a plane. He was seating in coach on an isle seat for a long flight. He started to see the other passengers boarding. A very voluminous passenger was walking down the isle. My friend thought: I hope he's not seating next to me! To his relief, the passenger passed by. Uffff!, saved by the bell.



Two seconds later the guy comes back and signals that he's seating on the window seat. Well, my friend thought: I hope the middle seat remains empty. Few minutes later, a well developed body-builder with five feet wide shoulders walks down the isle. At this time only a prayer can help: Please God, don't let him seat next to me! God was busy doing something else and didn't hear his prayers...



Later on the body-builder went to the restroom and never returned. While disembarking, my friend moved over to allow the voluminous companion to get out of the seat row and he stepped on my friends foot...!

No Rhythm

Have you noticed how, in most non-musical movies, when there is a dancing scene (again, not in a musical) the actors and extras seem to dance to their own music and not the music that they add when post producing? It irritates me when they don't dance to the rhythm, or the type of music they're playing. Boom, boom, boom, and they go beep, beep, beep. Arthur Murray and Gene Kelly (am I dating myself?) must be turning in their graves

In the shower 1

It's early in the morning, I've had an active hour of exercise and activity and am taking a relaxing warm shower to go tackle the day, but somebody, somewhere in the house, flushes a toilet. Ouch! the water is hot! So, I rapidly regulate it and start to relax again, but just for a few seconds. When the toilet tank fills up: swash! a gush of cold water. There goes the relaxing shower, through the drain...

Blind backing

I drive a sedan, so compared with the armies of S.U.Vs, Vans, Hummers, Trucks, etc, I feel that I'm a midget. Things get even more dramatic when you park between two oversize vehicles and you have to back-up. Going back reeeaaally slow, you just show "your derriere" inch by inch. Of course, nobody stops to let you out. They just go by "shaving" you back bumper. At the end of the day, and with the exercise you have to do looking back left and right, you end up with a stiff neck. My next car is going to be a "big foot"

Noisy Beachgoers

I went to the beach looking for peace and quite, hoping to be lulled by the sound of the waves crashing on the shore. I laid on my stomach and softly dozedoff, to be brutally awakened by a portable radio with hard rock and a group of sunbathers that took over the grounds next to me. Bing, bang beep, beep, twang! Where did civility go?

People with more disposable time than you

Went to a fabric store today looking for some fabric for a job that needed to be done immediately. At the register, the lady in front of me had three gift cards with small amounts in each. Additionally, she fished 2 coupons out of her coupon bag. That took 4 transactions to pay. To top it off, she was convinced that a $2.35 tote bag was on sale and wouldn't accept the fact that that was the sale price. After calls, price check-ups, etc., it took me 10 minutes at the register. Hurry up lady!

The Shaker

The shaker is the person who constantly shakes his or her leg. For instance, you're at the movies and happen to have a shaker seating next to you. Your movie gets scrambled with the shaker action. The same happens at the doctor's waiting room or any other close proximity seating arrangement. What about if the shaker is not next to you, but the chair, the desk or the leg hits something that goes tuik,tuik,tuik,tuik! Stop for Christ sake!