Say what?

Getting exposed to other cultures is an exciting experience: new ways of thinking, different foods and foreign languages.

Nothing better than learning to speak a foreign language because doing so we learn to understand that there are different (not necessarily better or worst) ways of doing things.

But learning a language doesn't come without its doses of annoyances.

I had been living in the States for a relatively short time when I realized the importance of some phonetic nuances that a foreigner's ear doesn't distinguish easily.

I was starting in a new job when I was assigned to inspect the work in some new homes being built. I was presenting my oral report during a morning meeting with the entire office when I was asked the status of the construction. I told the group that they were installing the sh*t rock (I meant sheet rock) and to my surprise everybody burst out laughing. I felt totally embarrassed and not because of what I had said, but because I didn't know why they were laughing. I couldn't hear the difference between "shee" ans "shi". Actually I didn't even realized there were two different sounds.

The same thing applies to beach and b*tch, and some other difficult sounds

What a pain. It can be very embarrassing!

Handshake

A handshake is a ritual way to greet people. Said to be in use by the Greeks in the 5th Century BC it is no wonder that for as long as I can remember a handshake is ....well...a handshake. It seems to have originated as a gesture of peace, showing the other person your unarmed hands.

Now the handshake has evolved, like almost everything else. There are cultural and generational variations that add interest and make hand shakes somewhat challenging.

When I came to live in the United States I didn't know, for example, what a Hi Five was. Someone I knew used to greet me like that and I didn't know what to do with it or how to respond to it until someone pointed it out and explained it to me. Awkward!

These days people touch fists in different ways and have developed all kinds of handshake-like greetings.

The one that annoys me is the Thumb-wrap. A new friend of mine uses the thumb-wrap. I haven't been able to manage it quite yet. The idea is (I think) to end up with your hand wrapped around your counterpart's thumb (see illustration).

When I greet him with a regular hand shake he manages to move his hand up around my thumb and move it all up to chest hight (!). I have tried to go straight to the chest-height-thumb-wrap but it doesn't work. I think that part of the pleasure is to create in the other person a sense inadequacy . The greeting starts with the hand at waist height and a forward movement like a hand shake but then, surprisingly, the hand slides up your palm and grabs the thumb.

Hmmmmm. I miss a regular, standard, safe and predictable hand shake

Belts

Getting dressed in the morning is easy. My size 32 pants fit me perfectly well. I feel full of energy, ready to conquer the world...I'm a morning person, what can I do.

As the day goes by, especially after lunch (no matter how light lunch is) my waist seems to grow a couple of inches. Size34 pants would be great now, but I'm still wearing my size 32ones. The belt constrains me, especially when I seat; but letting it go a notch or two doesn't help unless I unbutton my pants. Not a pretty picture to see a man with unbuttoned pants!

By Happy Hour time I'm starving, needing size 40 pants and a stretching belt. I'm fearing dinner by now, especially if I'm in the company of strangers.

After dinner my name changes to balloon man. Not because I sell balloons at night, but because I feel like I swallowed all the balloons I could be selling.

So I rush home, change to loose fitting, soft cloth old rags, sigh and start the decompression period.

Wouldn't it be nice if fashion designers would take the daily waist metamorphosis into consideration?.

What ever happened with elastic waist pants?

Boinnngggggh!