Shopping

Ahhhh! …The Holidays…..It’s the most wonderful (shopping)time of the year, da-da-pum, da-da-pum.

Well, I don’t like shopping. However, sometimes it’s unavoidable. Once I go, the first part of the adventure is to find a parking place.

After driving around and around the parking lot, I see a happy family, loaded with bags, walking toward a mini-van. I rush to secure the catch.

As a good citizen I park my car on the side and wait. I turn my blinker on, wait a little longer and am thrilled that I found a parking place.

The “mini-vans” open all the doors and start planning how to make all the bags fit in the van. They talk, joke and try different options.

I’m grabbing the steering wheel with both my hands. My knuckles are white with anticipation. My forehead has sweat pearls on. The “mini-vans” don’t move.

The guy in back of me doesn’t yet realize that I own the soon-to-be free parking place and is blowing his horn to make me move.

Come on you !@#*&%”er, move! That’s just me, talking to myself

After five eternal minutes, the happy “mini-vans” depart and I finally take possession.

The adventure has just begun.

Cell phone etiquette

I was in a public building running some errands. The building was quite empty and
 I was lost in my own thoughts when I walked into the restroom which was also quiet.
While taking care of business, I jumped startled at the sound of a loud burst of laughter
coming from a stall. Needles to say it scared the bejesus out of me. I almost lost my aim!!!.

What followed was an animated conversation in Japanese which

I can’t transcribe for lack of space.

It makes me wonder what the proper etiquette for cell phone conversations in public spaces should be…

Starbucksian

I’m picky when it comes to coffee. I like Italian coffee: not to bitter, not to acidic, not elaborate or gimmicky, etc. That’s to say that I don’t particularly care for Starbucks.

However, in times of desperation, when I start dreaming about coffee and nothing else is available (Starbucks is pretty much in every corner anyway) I go there. What really bothers me is that I don’t speak Starbucksian….

If I order a small espresso with a drop of milk, the “barista” looks at me with pity and corrects me: “Oh you

 want a solo-caramel-piccolo-macchiato-latte-mini-caldo?”

Uhmmmm, yeah, I guess

Paper Cut

For some folks that like me still pay bills with checks (I
know, I know, I have to update myself….) there is danger lurking in the
envelopes that come along with the bills. They have to be licked, the old
fashion way, to seal them. But beware: a paper cut in your upper lip is a real
risk. Ask me. I have had a couple. Ouch!